Are Your Beliefs Holding You Back?

January 30, 2024

“The mind, once stretched by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions”

Ralph Waldo Emerson


Once upon a time, a little boy woke up excited on his 10th birthday, ready to unwrap the magic awaiting him. His father, casually reading the morning paper at the breakfast table, decided it was the perfect moment for a fatherly chat.

"Son, today I'm going to share the secrets of the birds and the bees with you!"

The little boy, covered his ears and stomped his feet, shouting, "No! No! No! Don't tell me – STOP!" This unexpected reaction surprised the father, accustomed to his son's usual calm demeanor. Putting a reassuring hand on the boy's shoulder, he inquired about the cause of this sudden distress.

"Daddy, on my seventh birthday, you told me the tooth fairy was indeed a fairytale, and the dollars under my pillow stopped. Then on my eighth birthday, you told me the Easter Bunny was a myth and from that day on, the taste of chocolate just seems different. Last Christmas, you told me there's no Santa Claus, and it turned out to be the worst Christmas ever! If today, on my tenth birthday, you tell me that grown-ups don’t really 'DO IT,' then  what do I have left to live for?"


Flashback to my own childhood – on the last day of the school year, as a trusting, happy go lucky 10 year old about to head off for Christmas holidays, my class teacher dropped a truth bomb on our class. "Stand up, all those who believe in Santa Claus," I stood up, along with two other boys, only to be promptly shut down. "Sit down, Lee, you idiot!" she scolded, unveiling the cruel reality.


In disbelief, having had a family photo with a big fat man in a red suit the weekend prior, who even though I questioned the fact he was cross eyed, my mother convinced me was indeed Santa Claus; I asked my older brother Terry for confirmation later that night and he whispered, "Shh! There's no Santa Claus, but don’t let Mum and Dad know you don't believe or you won't get any presents." That Christmas was my worst Christmas ever as well.


Childhood beliefs, whether in the tooth fairy, the Easter Bunny, or Santa Claus, are often handed down through generations. Our earliest convictions stem from parental influence, sometimes stretching back to the traditional beliefs of our great-great-great-grandparents.


Even though I feigned firm belief and excitement in the arrival of Saint Nicholas on Christmas Eve, my parents being very strict Catholics, managed to cement my disbelief in him, by virtue of the fact that I received one present from "Santa Claus" the following morning; "The Complete Illustrated Children’s Bible."


A belief is essentially a behavior. You can't claim to believe in something and act contrary to that belief – well, you can, and many people do. Gandhi once remarked, “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”


Embracing a growth mindset encourages us to scrutinize our beliefs. Beliefs should serve, support, nurture, and sustain us. If they don't, it's time to reevaluate. Comfort zones are growth's adversaries.


I used to think men who drank green tea were soft and that Yoga was for hippies. My mindset was fixed, inhibiting growth. I drink a fair bit of green tea these days and Yoga is quite often my most spiritual experience and a tough workout.


Mark Twain aptly said, “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”


Adopting a growth mindset involves challenging comfort zones. Doing one thing every day that scares you, isn't about being reckless, it is taking steps towards overcoming past barriers.


When an elephant is born in captivity it is restrained by tying a piece of rope around its leg and the rope is pegged into the ground. The elephant can't move and as it grows older and larger, it doesn't attempt to break free from this bond as it has believed since its weaker days that it was incapable. 


A growth mindset is about igniting the spark of your potentiality. Petrol has potential but is inert without a spark or flame to unleash its volatility. 

  

A growth mindset shows up when saying no to drinks with friends to keep true to your own goals and belief in yourself is strengthened as well as your mental toughness, This is growth on multiple levels.


In a CrossFit session once, a client told me his mind was preventing him from doing an extra rep. “Whose mind is it?” I asked. “Tell that mind we need to keep this body in top shape so Mr. Mini Me wakes up tomorrow.”


With a growth mindset you set your intentions of growth out on the table, as in you write them down and you review them regularly and renew them each time you have a setback and set a growth plan for overcoming the setback next time the opportunity presents itself. And then you believe you will MAKE THEM HAPPEN!


A growth mindset demands transparent growth intentions. Regularly reviewing and renewing them and crafting a growth plan for setbacks. Life is about meaning and memories, with growth stemming from both. Don't forget to grow.


If you would like a free growth mindset, discovery tool, step out of your comfort zone, grow a pair of whatever you identify a multiple of two that you need to grow and email me david@leeway.com.au and I will send you my "FINDING YOUR PHENOMENAL" template which has you ask yourself a series of questions of what your belief system is, around what I call "The 8 masts of mastery"


This template provides you with initial "mesearch" questions and then you follow your own structured plan and belief system for growth outside of your comfort zone.


As with any questions, if you don't ask, the answer is always "NO"


Say yes to you and your belief in yourself and email me david@leeway.com.au for this unbelievable FREE growth experience ..


Grow well

DL


“"Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first, you have to believe."

Mark Victor Hansen






Don’t keep this to yourself. Spread the word.

By David Lee September 25, 2024
"How you wake up each day and your morning routine (or lack thereof) dramatically affects your levels of success in every single area of your life. Focused, productive, successful mornings generate focused, productive, successful days— which inevitably create a successful life." Hal Elrod (Author of The Miracle Morning )
By David Lee June 30, 2024
"By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest." CONFUCIOUS In their book Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life, Hector García and Francesc Miralles write that there is no word in Japanese that means to retire in the sense of leaving the workforce for good. The Oxford Dictionary defines ikigai as “a motivating force; something or someone that gives a person a sense of purpose or a reason for living”. In researching their book, García and Miralles spent time in the village of Ogimi on the Japanese island of Okinawa. Ogimi is known as the village of longevity. Its 3000 inhabitants enjoy the highest life expectancy in the world. In Japanese culture, retiring and not keeping mind and body busy is considered bad for your health since it disconnects your soul from your ikigai. Being of service to the village by continuing to be involved in community life or continuing to work is felt to be a key ingredient to longevity. In the book, 92-year-old resident Akira says: “Every day I wake up and go to the fields to grow tomatoes. Later I walk to the grocery store next to the beach and sell them. In the afternoon I go to the community center and prepare green tea for all my family and friends.” These Japanese people keep doing what they love and what they are good at even after they have left the office for the last time. The French, of course, have a similar expression—“raison d’être”—which the Oxford Dictionary defines as “the most important reason for somebody’s/something’s existence”. The more time I spend with spritely elderly people, the more I find they are still involved in their community as volunteers or working the job they loved before they “retired”. Like many of the lessons older people have taught me, we shouldn’t wait until we’re retired to adopt their happiness-inducing and youth-preserving behaviours. The definition of what makes people happy varies greatly, however in his book From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life, Arthur C. Brooks believes that the three major ingredients of happiness are enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose. The satisfaction and enjoyment I receive from encouraging people to be better than they believe they are, and to press on in times of hardship, provides a real sense of meaning and purpose in my life. The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, replied: “Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.” I’ve coached many people who spent the first half of their lives chasing wealth and are now spending the second half of their lives chasing back their health. I’ve been coaching many more people lately who aren’t concerned about the health they have lost. They fear being cast aside and replaced by much younger yet inexperienced people, threatening the wealth they created while they adopted a “health is your wealth” mentality. Those deciding my client’s fates are themselves, in most cases, much younger than these seasoned campaigners. The dirtiest secret I keep for one of my good friends is his age. He invited me to his 40th, which was really his 50th and the younger folks were none the wiser. The best kept secret of my healthiest clients is also their age. I used to say the payoff of fitness is vanity. These days I say it is sanity. The peace of mind my fit "old" friends have is that they look younger than their age, because they look after themselves. In searching for ideas to support how I wanted to describe the collective suffering people have struggled with in the past yet are now enjoying equality and opportunities provided for them after many generations of struggle, ChatGPT served up the following. "Diversity refers to the presence of differences within a given setting. These differences can include various dimensions such as race, ethnicity, gender, age, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, physical abilities, religious beliefs, political beliefs, and other ideologies." Unprompted, I was then offered, “In a broader sense, diversity encompasses the unique characteristics and perspectives that individuals bring to a group, organization, or society, enriching the collective experience and fostering a more inclusive environment.” I was invited to pitch for a consulting role with a global organisation 10 years ago and the friend who had organised the meeting warned me of the CEO’s bias toward younger people. Within 10 minutes of our meeting, the CEO was challenging the energy levels and enthusiasm of more experienced people as he called them, versus that of 20–30-year-olds. At this point, with the benefit of the heads up, I pulled out my phone and showed him a video to illustrate my point in age versus experience I went on to suggest that the challenge for the 3 standout players in this video was to teach the energetically enthused players how to do what they could do, while they were on the job, not in handover notes that will never be read.. I got the gig. I do think that ageism is the last blatant discrimination in the workplace and needs to be addressed by those with much more clout than my keyboard and contacts can achieve. The brave new world aside, Dame Carol Black from the Centre for Ageing Better brilliantly pointed out “Ageism compounds all other “isms”. Ageism and sexism; ageism and racism etc” A final word to the “whys” of those considering losing experience from their workforce is best left to Carole Eastern CEO of Ageing Better; “Ageism is prejudice against our future selves” The challenge for any generation is to assimilate with people of all ages. Most of the best advice I received in the workforce was bestowed upon me by older colleagues in a social setting for the cost of a steak and a wine, and most of the advice I have dispensed to younger colleagues has been dispensed the same way. Curiously, when I joined the workforce, the biggest shortcoming that was ever levelled at me was my lack of experience.. Age well. DL “The young have bad manners, contempt for authority, disrespect for their elders and a love for chatter instead of exercise. Children began to become the tyrants of their households ……. They no longer rise for their elders ….” Socrates
By David Lee June 21, 2024
“It seems to me that the real problem is the mind itself, and not the problem which the mind has created and tries to solve. If the mind is petty, small, narrow, limited, however great and complex the problem may be, the mind approaches that problem in terms of its pettiness.” Jiddu Krishnamuti
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