I'm not who you think I am, I'm not who I think I am, I am, who I think, you think, I am

June 21, 2024

“It seems to me that the real problem is the mind itself, and not the problem which the mind has created and tries to solve. If the mind is petty, small, narrow, limited, however great and complex the problem may be, the mind approaches that problem in terms of its pettiness.”


Jiddu Krishnamuti


Einstein said you cannot solve a problem with the same thinking that got you into the problem.


Batch thinking is the idea of setting time aside in the areas and style of thought required to spark eureka moments that will solve problems and help you gain clarity in murky, confusing, or worrying situations.


Most people only “get” time to think when they are busy doing other things. For example, they might be sitting in traffic thinking about the annoying colleague they are about to encounter at work and the surrounding bottleneck. I often muse that the campfire was the original television for the cave dweller—yet a live fire, as entertaining as it can be, is not as mindless as television viewing can be.


One of my favorite things is to sit in front of a fireplace or campfire and get lost in the flickering flames of thought. I’ve “fire dreamed” many of the things that I have achieved over the years, and I keep a journal with a red star on the cover to record these dreams in. I set a two-week deadline for taking action on these ideas, or I tear the unacted upon idea out of the book. It is a great motivator for action and accountability.


You see, thinking is great if it is followed by action. I feel that if I dwell too long on something then I need to stop dwelling on it and start dealing with it. 

“Don’t dwell on it—deal with it!” is one of my mantras.


Curiously, about the only thing in life you have complete control over is your thoughts.

But there are two downsides: over-thinking and stinking thinking.


Over-thinking is the plight of the perfectionist; stinking thinking is the plight of the masochist. 

The problem for perfectionists is that nothing is ever perfect, so in over-thinking they struggle to commit or finish the task at hand. The problem for masochists is that stinking thinking keeps them in the status quo, which seems to suit them.

That’s probably why Cicero said: “Indecision is the thief of opportunity.” 


The best way I know of optimizing your thinking is to dedicate set time to deep thought and contemplation. The benefits of allocated thinking time (Batch Thinking) are that you find your outcome and have eureka moments, rather than carrying thoughts around with you or losing sleep over them. 


It was once explained to me that taking time out from a busy period to sit and think for half an hour is like setting a bucket of muddy water down. The liquid eventually settles with the “silt” sinking to the bottom and the rest of the water clearing up. Like a “clear water revival” of the mind.


I love the line in Peter Pan where Peter says: “You just think lovely, wonderful thoughts, and they lift you in the air.” If you are the type of person who finds it difficult to sit still for half an hour without distractions and allow your thoughts to gather, then a half hour walk or run can have the same benefit. I often wonder whether I am getting an endorphin rush from a half hour run, or the clarity that I am experiencing after 30 minutes of uninterrupted thought. (I don’t run with headphones.)


Set time aside for productive thinking. I set an alarm for 3pm every day to think about the things that may keep me awake at 3am—the worrying things I can do nothing about at 3am. I know how well I am doing with this proactive batch thinking, when my 3pm alarm goes off and I have nothing to worry about and can keep getting on with my day.


If you are prone to worry, set aside a one-hour meeting with yourself on a Saturday morning when you can worry to your heart’s content. Set a calendar date with yourself for 10am every Saturday and send yourself an email calendar invite with the subject line “WORRY TIME”.

During your week, when a potentially worrying thought comes to mind that distracts you from your daily happiness, put it on your worry list.


What you will find over time is that you get a lot more joy out of each day.

Once 10am rolls around on a Saturday morning, look at the worry list you have taken with you to the meeting. Now cross off all the things on the list that are completely out of your control and decide to take the first step in dealing with the things you can. Don’t dwell on it, deal with it.


Marcus Aurelius put it best when he wrote: “You have the power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength.”

Not long into your Saturday morning worry meetings, you will find 80 per cent of the things on your worry list don’t worry you anymore.


Write lists. They act as great reminders and “minutes of the meeting” that you just had with your mind. Lists allow for greater mind space to think on your feet in daily life. Make to-do lists, shopping lists and repair lists for your Saturday morning worry meeting.


Benjamin Franklin said about an ordered life. “Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.” He also said: “Resolve to perform what you ought, and perform without fail, what you resolve.”


Batch thinking gives you space to monitor anxious thoughts about the future, as they creep in. Ask yourself, “What is the worst thing that could go wrong in this situation?” Then decide upon all that is in your power to avoid this thing happening and get to work on actioning these steps. In the school of philosophy known as stoicism, it is expressed by the Latin phrase "premeditatio malorum", meaning the premeditation of the evils, or troubles that might lie ahead.


The space you choose to batch your thinking in should help you create the thoughts you want to have, and the life you wish to manifest. It could be the sauna, the beach, or the garden.

Don’t ruminate on anything for longer than 20 or 30 minutes. More than this and stinking thinking will take over. I know people with far too much time on their hands to think who create mischief for others and become the trouble-making colleagues we face in the office or workplace.


As the Russian novelist Fyodor Dostoevsky said: “To think too much is a disease.”


Two things seem to happen with monotonous regularity when I think of a morning. I have an epiphany or an anxious thought.

If I do nothing with the epiphany, nothing good happens. If I do nothing with the anxious thought, nothing bad happens. If I do something with the epiphany, something great happens. If I let the anxious thoughts run amok, I end up worrying for no reason.


This is also the time to practice mindfulness. All you have is this moment and all you can influence right now is this moment. Focus on this idea today and every day from now on and played right, you will naturally create a better future and naturally leave a better past.

So, with peace of mind as my highest priority, the morning thinking routine sets me up for a naturally good day.


With Batch Thinking, be kind to yourself. Positive self-mind talk is so important. Don’t allow the voice in your head to speak to you in a way you would not tolerate from another person. Your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your destiny, so speak well to yourself and your future self. 


When you sense stinking thinking manifesting in your mind, purposely change the channel to “linking thinking”; link your thoughts to your goals and what you do have in life, not what you don’t. When you focus on what you have, what you lack disappears. When you focus on what you lack, what you have in life disappears.


Of course, there are those of us who try to avoid thinking altogether with distractions such as television, social media, gossip, and addictive vices. 


Ironically, I am reminded of a Simpsons episode where Bart has taken over the local radio station and Lisa walks into the loungeroom, turns the TV off and places a radio on top of it.


“People of Springfield, we have an announcement to make!” she declares.

Homer’s response is gold. “Well turn something on, I’m starting to think!”


Think Well.

DL



“All men’s miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone.”

BLAIZE PASCAL


 


Don’t keep this to yourself. Spread the word.

By David Lee September 25, 2024
"How you wake up each day and your morning routine (or lack thereof) dramatically affects your levels of success in every single area of your life. Focused, productive, successful mornings generate focused, productive, successful days— which inevitably create a successful life." Hal Elrod (Author of The Miracle Morning )
By David Lee June 30, 2024
"By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest." CONFUCIOUS In their book Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life, Hector García and Francesc Miralles write that there is no word in Japanese that means to retire in the sense of leaving the workforce for good. The Oxford Dictionary defines ikigai as “a motivating force; something or someone that gives a person a sense of purpose or a reason for living”. In researching their book, García and Miralles spent time in the village of Ogimi on the Japanese island of Okinawa. Ogimi is known as the village of longevity. Its 3000 inhabitants enjoy the highest life expectancy in the world. In Japanese culture, retiring and not keeping mind and body busy is considered bad for your health since it disconnects your soul from your ikigai. Being of service to the village by continuing to be involved in community life or continuing to work is felt to be a key ingredient to longevity. In the book, 92-year-old resident Akira says: “Every day I wake up and go to the fields to grow tomatoes. Later I walk to the grocery store next to the beach and sell them. In the afternoon I go to the community center and prepare green tea for all my family and friends.” These Japanese people keep doing what they love and what they are good at even after they have left the office for the last time. The French, of course, have a similar expression—“raison d’être”—which the Oxford Dictionary defines as “the most important reason for somebody’s/something’s existence”. The more time I spend with spritely elderly people, the more I find they are still involved in their community as volunteers or working the job they loved before they “retired”. Like many of the lessons older people have taught me, we shouldn’t wait until we’re retired to adopt their happiness-inducing and youth-preserving behaviours. The definition of what makes people happy varies greatly, however in his book From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life, Arthur C. Brooks believes that the three major ingredients of happiness are enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose. The satisfaction and enjoyment I receive from encouraging people to be better than they believe they are, and to press on in times of hardship, provides a real sense of meaning and purpose in my life. The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, replied: “Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.” I’ve coached many people who spent the first half of their lives chasing wealth and are now spending the second half of their lives chasing back their health. I’ve been coaching many more people lately who aren’t concerned about the health they have lost. They fear being cast aside and replaced by much younger yet inexperienced people, threatening the wealth they created while they adopted a “health is your wealth” mentality. Those deciding my client’s fates are themselves, in most cases, much younger than these seasoned campaigners. The dirtiest secret I keep for one of my good friends is his age. He invited me to his 40th, which was really his 50th and the younger folks were none the wiser. The best kept secret of my healthiest clients is also their age. I used to say the payoff of fitness is vanity. These days I say it is sanity. The peace of mind my fit "old" friends have is that they look younger than their age, because they look after themselves. In searching for ideas to support how I wanted to describe the collective suffering people have struggled with in the past yet are now enjoying equality and opportunities provided for them after many generations of struggle, ChatGPT served up the following. "Diversity refers to the presence of differences within a given setting. These differences can include various dimensions such as race, ethnicity, gender, age, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, physical abilities, religious beliefs, political beliefs, and other ideologies." Unprompted, I was then offered, “In a broader sense, diversity encompasses the unique characteristics and perspectives that individuals bring to a group, organization, or society, enriching the collective experience and fostering a more inclusive environment.” I was invited to pitch for a consulting role with a global organisation 10 years ago and the friend who had organised the meeting warned me of the CEO’s bias toward younger people. Within 10 minutes of our meeting, the CEO was challenging the energy levels and enthusiasm of more experienced people as he called them, versus that of 20–30-year-olds. At this point, with the benefit of the heads up, I pulled out my phone and showed him a video to illustrate my point in age versus experience I went on to suggest that the challenge for the 3 standout players in this video was to teach the energetically enthused players how to do what they could do, while they were on the job, not in handover notes that will never be read.. I got the gig. I do think that ageism is the last blatant discrimination in the workplace and needs to be addressed by those with much more clout than my keyboard and contacts can achieve. The brave new world aside, Dame Carol Black from the Centre for Ageing Better brilliantly pointed out “Ageism compounds all other “isms”. Ageism and sexism; ageism and racism etc” A final word to the “whys” of those considering losing experience from their workforce is best left to Carole Eastern CEO of Ageing Better; “Ageism is prejudice against our future selves” The challenge for any generation is to assimilate with people of all ages. Most of the best advice I received in the workforce was bestowed upon me by older colleagues in a social setting for the cost of a steak and a wine, and most of the advice I have dispensed to younger colleagues has been dispensed the same way. Curiously, when I joined the workforce, the biggest shortcoming that was ever levelled at me was my lack of experience.. Age well. DL “The young have bad manners, contempt for authority, disrespect for their elders and a love for chatter instead of exercise. Children began to become the tyrants of their households ……. They no longer rise for their elders ….” Socrates
By David Lee April 16, 2024
“There are risks and costs to action. But they are far less than the long range risk of comfortable inactions” John F Kennedy 
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