Specificity - Hard to say - Hard to get there without...

April 13, 2021

Effort and Courage are not enough without Purpose and Direction - John Fitzgerald Kennedy

I recently drove to the town in which my brother lives, to watch a live sporting event at his local sports club.
I have been to his hometown many times, but I had never visited his local sports club before. As I jumped in my car, I entered the name of his hometown into my GPS and headed out.  
I had promised him I would meet him at 7pm and priding myself on punctuality (on time is late in my books) it started to play on my mind, that whilst the GPS had the name of his town as my destination and the arrival time as 6.55pm, I had no idea where his local sports club was.

I often treat myself like one of my clients and will quite often say to myself “what advice would you give to a client right now DL?”
So, I took my own advice for a directionless journey…

When a client tells me, they have no direction in life and they feel they are in a rut, I explain the original definition.
– the original definition of a “RUT” is the long deep tracks made by the repeated passage of the wheels of vehicles. On country roads these are the unsealed gutters which once stuck in, can take you to where you absolutely don’t want to go… 


I soon pulled over to the side of the road and entered the specific address into the GPS and realized I would arrive 5 minutes late. He lives in a big town.

It got me to thinking that without a specific and definite plan for where we are going, I mean a specific and definite plan for your dream life, then your dream life can, in some cases, turn out to be a nightmare.

The SMART formula for goal setting, which I have followed and recommended for years, uses the word SMART as an acronym for remembering the processes required in goal setting and commences with the word SPECIFIC. Then Measurable, Achievable, Realistic & Timed.

Specificity requires you to really consider what your Dream life would look like.

These days, I prefer to propose the word DREAM as an acronym for goal setting to really pinpoint where it is that you would like your dream life to be headed.  

From a specific viewpoint, the D stands for Desire
What is it that you REALLY Desire in life? 
R sticks with the Realistic theme
Is what you really Desire, realistic?
The E is for Effectiveness – 
What is the most Effective way of getting your Dream to come true and what are the steps involved, most importantly what is the first step?
The A is for Achievability 
When would you like to have Achieved your Goal by? What is the actual End date?
And the M is for Make it happen
Most everything you truly Desire in life requires YOU to Make it happen.

This Dream, or Goal, or Vision, without execution, is just a daydream, as Bill Gates says.

Desire
Realistic
Effectiveness
Achievability
Make It Happen.

With our Dream life in mind, we need to adopt an attitude of inevitability. If day by day, you do one thing beneficial towards your dream life, it is inevitable that you will live the dream life you have designed.

I was asked by a child recently “what is a yearn-all?” 
I thought he may have overheard me coaching his mother on the benefits of keeping a daily journal. I laughed and thought it is funny that not only is a journal the best place to record your thoughts and dreams, but it could be aptly named a “yearn-all” rhyming with journal to plan all the things you yearn for – your DREAM life.

As it turned out, what he really meant to ask, was ; what a urinal was, which in reality, without action – a “yearn-all” could become just that... a place where you record all the things you yearn for that without action, you are just flushing your dreams down the toilet… 

Be well.
DL

If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life. Abraham Maslow

Don’t keep this to yourself. Spread the word.

By David Lee September 25, 2024
"How you wake up each day and your morning routine (or lack thereof) dramatically affects your levels of success in every single area of your life. Focused, productive, successful mornings generate focused, productive, successful days— which inevitably create a successful life." Hal Elrod (Author of The Miracle Morning )
By David Lee June 30, 2024
"By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest." CONFUCIOUS In their book Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life, Hector García and Francesc Miralles write that there is no word in Japanese that means to retire in the sense of leaving the workforce for good. The Oxford Dictionary defines ikigai as “a motivating force; something or someone that gives a person a sense of purpose or a reason for living”. In researching their book, García and Miralles spent time in the village of Ogimi on the Japanese island of Okinawa. Ogimi is known as the village of longevity. Its 3000 inhabitants enjoy the highest life expectancy in the world. In Japanese culture, retiring and not keeping mind and body busy is considered bad for your health since it disconnects your soul from your ikigai. Being of service to the village by continuing to be involved in community life or continuing to work is felt to be a key ingredient to longevity. In the book, 92-year-old resident Akira says: “Every day I wake up and go to the fields to grow tomatoes. Later I walk to the grocery store next to the beach and sell them. In the afternoon I go to the community center and prepare green tea for all my family and friends.” These Japanese people keep doing what they love and what they are good at even after they have left the office for the last time. The French, of course, have a similar expression—“raison d’être”—which the Oxford Dictionary defines as “the most important reason for somebody’s/something’s existence”. The more time I spend with spritely elderly people, the more I find they are still involved in their community as volunteers or working the job they loved before they “retired”. Like many of the lessons older people have taught me, we shouldn’t wait until we’re retired to adopt their happiness-inducing and youth-preserving behaviours. The definition of what makes people happy varies greatly, however in his book From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life, Arthur C. Brooks believes that the three major ingredients of happiness are enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose. The satisfaction and enjoyment I receive from encouraging people to be better than they believe they are, and to press on in times of hardship, provides a real sense of meaning and purpose in my life. The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, replied: “Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.” I’ve coached many people who spent the first half of their lives chasing wealth and are now spending the second half of their lives chasing back their health. I’ve been coaching many more people lately who aren’t concerned about the health they have lost. They fear being cast aside and replaced by much younger yet inexperienced people, threatening the wealth they created while they adopted a “health is your wealth” mentality. Those deciding my client’s fates are themselves, in most cases, much younger than these seasoned campaigners. The dirtiest secret I keep for one of my good friends is his age. He invited me to his 40th, which was really his 50th and the younger folks were none the wiser. The best kept secret of my healthiest clients is also their age. I used to say the payoff of fitness is vanity. These days I say it is sanity. The peace of mind my fit "old" friends have is that they look younger than their age, because they look after themselves. In searching for ideas to support how I wanted to describe the collective suffering people have struggled with in the past yet are now enjoying equality and opportunities provided for them after many generations of struggle, ChatGPT served up the following. "Diversity refers to the presence of differences within a given setting. These differences can include various dimensions such as race, ethnicity, gender, age, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, physical abilities, religious beliefs, political beliefs, and other ideologies." Unprompted, I was then offered, “In a broader sense, diversity encompasses the unique characteristics and perspectives that individuals bring to a group, organization, or society, enriching the collective experience and fostering a more inclusive environment.” I was invited to pitch for a consulting role with a global organisation 10 years ago and the friend who had organised the meeting warned me of the CEO’s bias toward younger people. Within 10 minutes of our meeting, the CEO was challenging the energy levels and enthusiasm of more experienced people as he called them, versus that of 20–30-year-olds. At this point, with the benefit of the heads up, I pulled out my phone and showed him a video to illustrate my point in age versus experience I went on to suggest that the challenge for the 3 standout players in this video was to teach the energetically enthused players how to do what they could do, while they were on the job, not in handover notes that will never be read.. I got the gig. I do think that ageism is the last blatant discrimination in the workplace and needs to be addressed by those with much more clout than my keyboard and contacts can achieve. The brave new world aside, Dame Carol Black from the Centre for Ageing Better brilliantly pointed out “Ageism compounds all other “isms”. Ageism and sexism; ageism and racism etc” A final word to the “whys” of those considering losing experience from their workforce is best left to Carole Eastern CEO of Ageing Better; “Ageism is prejudice against our future selves” The challenge for any generation is to assimilate with people of all ages. Most of the best advice I received in the workforce was bestowed upon me by older colleagues in a social setting for the cost of a steak and a wine, and most of the advice I have dispensed to younger colleagues has been dispensed the same way. Curiously, when I joined the workforce, the biggest shortcoming that was ever levelled at me was my lack of experience.. Age well. DL “The young have bad manners, contempt for authority, disrespect for their elders and a love for chatter instead of exercise. Children began to become the tyrants of their households ……. They no longer rise for their elders ….” Socrates
By David Lee June 21, 2024
“It seems to me that the real problem is the mind itself, and not the problem which the mind has created and tries to solve. If the mind is petty, small, narrow, limited, however great and complex the problem may be, the mind approaches that problem in terms of its pettiness.” Jiddu Krishnamuti
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